Tree Hugging Hippies Are Cool

Innocent people were gunned down at school, so naturally arguing, blaming, and the media cycle makes a ton of noise but accomplishes nothing.

Fighting and arguing on Facebook and with any human being accomplishes nothing but more divisiveness. “United we stand, divided we fall”

Are guns the issue? I find myself more concerned about why so many are so unhappy, so miserable, so full of hatred, that they would take a weapon and take the lives of innocent people.

On the flip side, I have to remember in many countries, hostile armies/people/etc gun others down for their religion, skin color, etc. There are innocent people fleeing their home seeking safety from the violence and wars killing their loved ones. Children are dying everyday at the hands of hatred and fear.

It’s a truth many shrink away from. It is easy to blame the guns, but the truth is if there is no gun, there’s a bomb, or something else. If you want tighter gun laws – get off Facebook and fight your legislators. But really, our system is broken. Millions upon millions of dollars have been dumped in the pockets of the people we the people have put in power.

We have put these people in power. We forget that we are the ones with the power, even though the system is flawed and broken. We’re not as small and powerless as we like to think, because we are all experiencing this life as humans together. There is pain everywhere in the world. There is joy everywhere in this world as well. What do we cultivate and focus on? Your thoughts and focus create your reality.

I see pain and sadness. I see so many people desperately lonely. Social media has given us an illusion of connection. As we sit with our faces in our phones, we overlook people in general and the ones we love, disconnected from reality and divided from each other.

When animals and people are in isolation too long, they can go insane. Become aggressive and attack. When you say mental illness, do you truly believe inhibited serotonin, dopamine, etc. are causing human beings to take an assault rifle and gun down kids? Do you think even an illness as serious as schizophrenia could cause this?

The highest risk factor for most DSM V diagnoses is suicide. Not homicide.

These people are mentally deranged, but I think we need to stop diagnosing people via media. As awful as this is, we need to consider ourselves fortunate that we don’t live where this is a daily norm. We need to start looking at one another and smiling. Say hello, how are you. Acknowledge human beings as human beings. Hold a door. Say thank you. Be grateful.

Right now, all I see is fear and anger being spread. Fear and anger make picking up a gun and killing easy. Love and unity are our natural inclinations and we are losing touch with that reality. Compassion – not empathy – for ourselves and each other.

I probably sound like a tree hugging hippie but I can vote and write letters to legislators. Beyond that, my circle of influence is small. And in that, I am trying to spread hope and joy. Hope and joy do not incite violence. Maybe if we all felt less alone and isolated, the world would not feel scary and divided.

I’d rather allow my thoughts and focus create a reality where a smile can make a difference in someone’s day. Because that is a truth that is undeniable.

Mr. Rogers taught us to look for the helpers. It’s time for all of us to be the helpers.

11:11: Synchronicity or Inflated Ego?

Synchronicity is a term used by Jung fans and New Age Spiritualists. For Jung and spirituality, self-awareness transcends the ego to find your true self (all roads point to love) which leads to co-creating with the universe.  Synchronicity is an example of the connection of true self and God. In transcending the illusion of ego, you see that there is no separation between you and everything around you – including God.

Alternatively, your ego inflates. Inflation is another term Jung wrote about, though it’s far less spoken about then repeating numbers. Inflation is when you serve your ego as your God. Or really, you create your God in the image/projection of you.

Carl-Jung-Synchronicity-

Synchronicity is a connection to something/someone greater than you

Jung’s divine, AA’s Higher Power, Christian’s God, Hindu’s Gods, Addict’s Heroin, iPhones/Androids…

Who or what do you defer to?

Your time, money, and attention = God.

Synchronicity is: the universe works with you when you work with it. Free of ego, the truth shines: the universe works with you whether or not you go along with it.

Spirituality frees you to be present and be love. When you are present, you are free of the ties that bind – guilt from the past, worry about the future, wanting for the have not’s, guilty for the haves, and on and on. You are here now.

Jung proposed as you embraced your Dark Side/Shadow/inner Vader, you will be able to become whole (holy), and you will then work with the force as opposed to against the force (Universe/God/Higher Power). (He did not throw Star Wars references in) He used the term synchronicity to help explain coincidence is not coincidence.

“God does not play dice” – Einstein

Look at the natural patterns in nature – repeating within and without each of us. Where one can observe chaos, at another level, it is perfect order. We lack the God’s eye view of our existence. We have no way of knowing if something good is actually good, or if something bad is truly bad.

Duality (good vs. bad, light vs. dark) is more lies of ego. Our ego is conscious attention: our problem solver and scanning device. Its whole purpose is to organize our lives between the chaos of the Id and the seeming order of the Superego. It’s not an enemy; it’s a lower state of consciousness. Spirituality expands your consciousness to see the world without the filter of ego.

As your ego becomes quieter, you begin to notice the harmony of life. In becoming more aware, you begin to see patterns in your own life naturally repeating.

Synchronicity is described as being in the right place at the right time.

It’s seeing karma in action – you see a cause and an effect that means something to you and you alone, and it’s appreciated.  Without the illusion of duality, there is never a good or bad. There is a process to life and no fate.

If there is a butterfly effect, it exists as one thought flaps its wings in your mind leading to a tsunami of thoughts within your mind. As you understand yourself, your shadows, and your cycles, you begin to see reality versus the illusion of the ego. You understand your mind creates your life.

Synchronicity doesn’t happen with awakening, or ascribing to any spiritual or religious path. It does not happen as a karmic reward or lesson. The Universe and God are not bookkeepers. They don’t dish out punishment. They’re not bizarre sado-masochistic all seeing eyes of fairy dust and ball gags.

We are the judge and jury. We are the ones who create the pain or pleasure. Our thoughts lead to words and actions. Duality lies and gives labels, but truth (not repeating numbers on a digital clock) says you are always on your path.

Awareness of Synchronicity is a measure of awareness.

It’s from a level our egos do not like to exist – can’t exist really. The notion of a higher power than I? More confusingly, the power is in me and not in me? In reality, there is no me, only an idea of me?

There is too much writing about “fighting” the ego, “killing” the ego. If you go to war with yourself, you go to war. Spirituality shows you the ego does not exist, inflation shows you the ego can change. It depends on who or what that God is.

Synchronicity can help guide you back home to yourself. Here and now – you are perfect. You are always on the right path, because you are alive.

Are you checking in or checking the time?

So many articles have been written on the repeating numbers – do you see 11:11? 1:11? 2:22? I don’t mean to stick my tongue out and wag my ass, but this is a shrewd, limited, fragment of the reality of synchronicity, yet it is touted AS synchronicity.

Carl Jung died 7 years before a digital clock was invented. At the time of his death, you couldn’t look at a clock and see 11:11. 

This is not synchronicity. This is not anything but a fabrication of confirmation bias. If you put a positive association with seeing 11:11, you will see 11:11 more.

Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities. It is a type of cognitive bias and a systematic error of inductive reasoning.

New Age spirituality can easily turn into a higher form of ego

Seeing repeating numbers on a digital clock is not significant. Taking a screen shot of these numbers and posting them on social media disconnects you from the here and now – the very purpose of connecting with self and freeing yourself of ego.

Screen shots and social media disconnect from the here and now and cling to something as impermanent as minutes on the clock. Time itself is a creation of our egos to organize our lives.

With confirmation bias, you naturally check a clock more often to see repeating numbers, reaffirming an illusion you are trying to break free of. Your ego has moved up a level. Is that bad? I don’t believe in bad, especially since the flip side is: hey you moved up. In a video game, the villains always grow harder.

In life, the villain and protagonist are the same verb: You. You’re either -ing up, -ing down, or -ing in place.

Jung’s concept of synchronicity has been placed on something as common as a clock. There are 24 opportunities in a day to see repeating numbers on a clock. That’s not significant. In checking phones and taking screen shots, illusion remains as does disconnection. In the minute of 11:11, a glance at the sky could have shown an animal that inspired you, a smile that changed your day, or an answer you had been overlooking.

A synchronicity is an every day miracle. It’s the little things you come to appreciate when you finally see how grand life is in a moment by moment basis. I find, if I’m using technology, the first post on my YouTube, the first thing I see on Social Media, etc. are far more serendipitous and productive than seeing numbers on a clock 7 years after the man who invented the term died.

Is your God above, within, or a rectangle in your palm? 

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Changing my Christmas

I’ve looked at Christmas as being forced to spend money I do not have on a bunch of shit no one needs. This year, I have been particularly vocal about this materialist society killing everyone’s understanding of joy, happiness, peace, fulfilment, etc. No material good gives happiness. Happiness comes from within. To me, happiness and love are synonyms, and no thing shows or gives love or happiness. Happiness, love, and Christmas are actions, not words and not gifts.

Am I angry about Christmas? No. I just had the simple realization that I spent 1 or more months of my life spending money, preparing, and doing shit for one day. Christmas became a burden. It was a neverending series of compounding expectations, which ultimately created a stressed out and exhausted me. I said to a friend: “No single day can live up to that amount of effort. The ROI (return on investment) is fucked. This is why we’re all so goddamn miserable. We spend months of our lives delaying being happy for a day.

The inevitable feeling I always had to tuck away on Christmas night was “All that for this?”

There are a lot of people questioning why we have a holiday that makes us feel obligated to go into debt for our loved ones, etc. I’ve felt this way for so long, but I assumed it was me being weird. Everyone else seems happy. Clearly, my overwhelmed, exhausted, etc. state was my fault.

I have always looked at Christmas has a metaphor of our best selves. We’re all happier, more loving, kinder. Why, then, do I need to work so hard to achieve that? Why do I save it for a day? I can throw tons of synonyms to describe happiness or being happy. Or, I can give the truth: it’s your choice. Happy is a feeling which is a reaction. Every feeling you have is a reaction, and what you do with that reaction dictates your response. Your response is your choice. All feelings are transient and temporary.

Part of my problem with Christmas is the expectations I would set for myself and my family. I wanted to create amazing memories and moments as well as find the perfect gifts for everyone. I created so much anxiety and insanity for myself in this desperate need to have the best, be the best, etc. I’d have images of these perfect festive scenes that never came to fruition. Most of the time I’d be so damn exhausted, I’d feel like I was barely there anyway. Last year, I focused on taking better care of myself at Christmas time. I cut things off the to-do list, focused on meditation, yoga, and journaling to help me stay calm.

Happiness is cultivated in your mind. For years, I pretended to be happy as I ran around like a Christmas-y chicken with my head cut off. In reality, I cultivated guilt, expectations, and disappointment. It was me trying to make up for being a “shitty mom”. I don’t know why I believe so deeply I’m a shitty Mom, except to say, I look at the expectations of society and I don’t match. Now, I’m thrilled I do not match. I finally understand parenting and happiness are not one size fits all. In striving to achieve Facebook-worthy statuses, pictures, etc. I was robbing myself of genuine happiness and authenticity. I’ve found greater happiness in the smallest situations than in all the convoluted schemes I’ve contrived.

My kids don’t understand money, etc. Why would they? That’s when I saw the stupidity of my expectations: my kids have no concept of all the shit I’m doing because Santa does the work. They have no concept of money because kids do not understand the stupidity adults live in. All the expectations I would place were with all the time, energy, and money I’ve put out, and the kids have no way of understanding or appreciating that.

Christmas is a consumer-driven holiday. There’s nothing about Jesus in the money I’m spending, etc. Jesus is in the hugs I give my children, and the I love you’s and the giggles while we make a mess baking cookies. None of this is dictated by a date on the calendar – originally the solstice, which was taken by Christianity for Christmas, to drive pagans to Christianity. Now, it’s been taken from Christians by Corporations & Credit Card companies to drive everyone to debt. I was wondering how I can get away from this consumer crap. I don’t want my life dictated by shit. It could be the nicest whatever, ever, but at the end of the day, it’s stuff.

Yet, my kids want presents. I can’t say, “Well your mother has realized society is idiotic and we’re abstaining this year.” This is my problem, not theirs. So, I changed my attitude. Everything in this life is a tool or a weapon, depending on your choice. A lot of people mistake what Buddha taught regarding attachment. It’s not to have nothing, want nothing, etc.

It is to cling to nothing: no moment, no thing, etc. In the fleetingness of Christmas, my greatest disappointment was it was just one day. One hour, really. I’d spend days upon days wrapping presents, and within an hour all that time was scattered on the floor for me to clean. If the kids hated a present, I’d be upset.

I don’t think Buddha would advise me to change anything but me.

Instead of buying gifts, I thought in terms of investments. I am investing in my children’s happiness. Sometimes, you make a good investment, sometimes bad. This lets me detach from the expectation of outcomes – happy, sad, indifferent. It’s an investment, and we shall see how it goes. I did my purchases with the word “Tool” in mind.

Attachment is allowing something to control you, versus you being in control. If you are constantly chasing stuff, money, tail, this controls you.

Reaction/Response. A reaction is a base instinct. A response is controlled. It’s a higher level of being. The way words get interspersed leads to a lot of confusion in this regard. The things I purchased were with helping the kids connect with passions, hobbies, and ways of cultivating happiness for themselves. What they do with these gifts is their choice, and if it goes to waste, I’ll consider it a lousy investment. I won’t get upset, etc. because I know I did my best, and I know they choose happiness for themselves. I’ve been talking to the kids about gratitude almost constantly. Pointing out everything we all take for granted – hot water, our home, food, etc. I feel like we all so easily get caught up in the “buy me, buy me” we forget how lucky we are. I forget I’m fortunate to even be pissing and moaning about buying presents or baking cookies.

Many believed I was “anti-Christmas” this year, and I’m not. I’m anti-killing myself for a bunch of crap no one needs. I’m anti-anything that doesn’t cultivate happiness.  The way I was doing Christmas did everything but cultivate happiness. It dumped a ton of happy feelings in one day, a fleeting, transient thing. In changing my perspective, outlook, and actions, I’m showing the kids with the example to take care of themselves, and create happiness and love – every day, not just December 25th. Nothing I did over the past month was really about Christmas. It was just about being a family and loving each other. Christmas is a day. I won’t kill myself for a day anymore.

Some changes I made:

  1. No More Wrapping. Too much time and effort with NO payoff. I’m killing trees and myself for, what? A pretty picture?
    • Solution – I bought a ton of adorable cloth Santa Sacks. I put presents inside and place sack under tree. Done.
  2. I’m making investments, not buying gifts
    • Obviously, the kids got a few toys. More than that, though, the bulk of my money went towards developing hobbies: a snake for my youngest, because he’s wanted a pet, and I thought responsibility/caring for an animal would be good for him. My daughter wants to be an artist – she got an art kit and art desk, and my oldest is getting a telescope because my motherly instinct is telling me exploring the cosmos is right up his alley.
    • Not just kids, though. I focused everything I bought as an investment in someone else cultivating happiness or a better life. Re-discovering hobbies/joy they had as a kid, etc. It challenged me to be creative, attentive, and do more than just mindlessly buy crap.
    • I’m creating opportunities to teach gratitude – for the people in our lives and the tools we have to create happiness
  3. I listened to myself
    • When I was tired, etc. I just listened to my body. There is literally nothing about Christmas that is more important than my health and wellbeing.
    • I blew off friends/commitments if my energy was low
    • I did not do more than I was capable of doing
  4. I am staying present
    • The magic of Christmas and in my mind, the magic of life is in the smallest moments. I overlooked them in my hyperfocus on the “big day”. Singing and dancing to “Must be Santa” with my baby, ignoring an overflowing sink of dishes to play dolls with my daughter, etc. Christmas is tomorrow. Right now, I’m ignoring my overwhelming children and taking a time out to blab on here, because I’ve been too busy/tired to write. 😉 balance!
  5. I’m not perfect
    • I am not perfect
  6. I’m the only standard I’m holding myself up to
    • Did I do my best? Perfect. 😉
  7. I made Christmas, love, and happiness synonyms.
  8. I am grateful

This is not just about Christmas, these are attitudes and thought processes I’ve been cultivating. I’m not spending 364 of my life looking forward to 1. I said this month, I’m not spending 30 days or whatever prepping for a day. I spend 365 days a year cultivating love and happiness – in myself first, and through sound investments 😉