Using a Tough Convo to Empower

I’m a pretty big believer in transparency with my kids. If nothing else, my alphabet soup of diagnoses forces me to be honest about my shortcomings. I can’t exactly smile and be “perfect” when depression or panic attacks are fighting my ability to be a human being let alone a mom.

My kids, like any kids, have these things called ears and eyes. They see all of the goings on, even if I don’t watch the news myself. I realized I needed to talk to them about the shootings. I am not one to brush things under the carpet with a smile and everything is just fine.

My oldest told me he’s scared someone’s gonna come in and shoot him. I overheard the boys discussing what they’d do if someone came into their school and started shooting. Like a normal mom, I immediately felt a rage in me that could make a nuclear bomb seem benign. How the fuck can it be possible that my 11 and 6 year old are discussing getting fucking shot in school? How is this a reality?

I looked my son in the eyes and I gave him the only answer I have. “Ty, the truth is at any moment we can die. There are people who are angry, miserable, and full of hatred and sadness. It’s so bad, they think hurting others is the answer. The only thing we can do for people like that is love them anyway. I refuse to waste my life being scared of mean people or even being scared of dying. I know it will happen one day, and my only wish is I live my life so well – so awesomely – that when I die, I have a smile on my face and all the ones I love know how much and deeply I love them. I feel like the only way I can do that is try to be as kind and loving as I can to anyone in my life and maybe there will be less unhappy people in the world. But I won’t let people take away my happiness. Not by making me scared about dying or anything. I won’t give someone else that power. And I hope you don’t either. I hope you live your life finding everything that makes you smile – to the point you can smile and find happiness even when everything is hard. Because you are strong. You’re awesome. And no one can take that away from you.”

I don’t know if that’s the right answer, but unfortunately there’s no “how to talk to your children about people being massacred in school” section in the non-existent parenting novel. I can’t get rid of the monsters, but I’ll do my best not to raise new ones.

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8 thoughts on “Using a Tough Convo to Empower

  1. I have goosebumps reading this. And it’s a cold day, so now I am extra cold! I can not imagine what it would be like to have a child and hear news like the florida shooting….or any school shooting….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. To be honest, I was trying to block it all out but how can you anymore? Sandy Hook marked the end of me watching news and ultimately TV. But you can’t go anywhere without this pain. It just makes me
      Want to be louder like look, it’s not the guns, it’s not mental illness in the traditional sense. This is society killing us. But hey, occasionally my kids listen to me and if I can teach them, I did my job.

      Thanks for reading sistah! How you been???

      Like

  2. If there is no novel on a good answer my dear, then you have just started one. You can only teach your kids to be benevolent beings so they don’t grow up resenting the world they live in. There are no bad students, only bad teachers they say, and you lovely are a great teacher by spreading that message to your kids. That’s the perfect answer a parent can give, allow me to print the pages to the manual on the how to book.❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ you are so kind!!! Thank you so much. I want you to know I’m sitting here grinning from ear to ear. You’ve made me light up sir and I appreciate it!!!! This has been pretty heavy on my heart but since I talked with him
      And shared this I’ve felt so much less alone and so much stronger. Thank you for lifting me up!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ❤️❤️❤️. You are pure motivation and inspiration my dear so smile that beautiful smile cause you deserve it. If you can teach your kids a lesson like that when questions like that are asked, you are on the right track. Sometimes they say there are no wrong or right answers…..they are wrong! That was a right answer you gave them.😊❤️

        Like

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